A mere few days ago I felt such peace and ease. As you read in my previous post, I released a long term goal. I was on cloud nine. I felt light. I felt free. It was bliss.
Just as I suspected (and even predicted in my blog post), a few minutes after I posted my last post, I heard back from an editor. She asked me for ideas. All of a sudden, the anxiety and excitement immediately returned. And then she said that my ideas were too new agey for them. I submitted another more mainstream idea. I haven’t heard back yet.
In the meanwhile, I happened to come across a very cool blogger, Hibiscus Moon. She posts youtube videos and writes about crystals. I’ve been drawn to crystals ever since I was little. I still am, although I don’t know as much about them as I’d like.
Hibiscus Moon said that citrine and pyrite are great crystals to use for manifestation. I felt inspired to head back (ok race back) to the crystal shop to purchase pyrite and a couple of other things. When I came home, I felt so disappointed. Let’s just say that I felt like I was back at square one. Wasn’t I over this? Obviously, I wasn’t. I stopped beating myself up after a few days. I feel like I’m almost back to the place I was when I felt free and light. Almost, but not quite.
Today I read this blog posted by Yoga Journal, called Go With The Flow. It made me realize, not for the first (or third or thirteenth) time of how many others have spent years wishing and praying for things far grander than my wish. Trust me, I know this. I know how lucky I am. Hey, I keep a gratitude journal and write in it every night for goodness sakes. Nevertheless, the heart wants what it wants.