I first heard about the Hindu Goddess Kali in a yoga class. For some reason, I felt an immediate attraction towards her. I don’t remember what the teacher said, but I remember the feeling I had in my heart. When I came home, I googled her. I purchased books, including Shakti Mantras, to learn more about her and other goddesses. I asked my teachers questions about her.
When I learned about Ganesha, the elephant known as a remover of obstacles and new beginnings, I also felt an immediate alignment. He’s definitely one of my peeps. However, when it came to Kali, the attraction felt different. I was attracted to her but also terrified. It didn’t help that whenever I mentioned her name to those in the know, I would hear things like “Oh, be careful when it comes to Kali. She will give you want you want but not in the way you want it.”
Kali is typically shown as a black figure, with a skull necklace and holding on to heads. She is known as the destroyer. When I spoke about her to my daughters this weekend, my older daughter, Sofia, asked if she’s evil. I said no, but she helps remove the evil from your life.
The funny thing is that all this time I’ve felt too scared to chant to Kali. On Saturday, however, everything changed. I woke up and felt ready to chant to Kali. I don’t know what happened, if anything, but I just felt ready. As always, I did more reading and reached out to different yoga teachers. One teacher wrote “if you call to Kali, you must be ready for the outcome.” Another teacher wrote “she clears the way….no matter what.”
Since Saturday, I’ve been chanting Um Klim Kalika-yei Namaha which means “Om and salutations. I attract she who is dark and powerful.”
Initially I wanted to chant the mantra, according to Ashley-Farrand, that gives a very fast route to spiritual liberation but also may also cause some turmoil in your daily life.
Om Hrim Shreem Klim Adya Kalika Param Eshwari Swaha which means “Om and salutations to She who is the first one, dark within her own reality, the supreme primordial feminine, who cuts through illusion to the unabridged truth of existence.”
I didn’t stick with that one because I had a hard time remembering it. I’m sure if I stuck with it, I would have gotten it, but the first mantra stuck quite easily. I’ve been repeating it throughout the day, whenever I remember and whenever I feel like it. It’s different than the other rituals I have done to Ganesha. I don’t feel inclined to do japa mala. I just want to chant to Kali, more like, pray to her. However, I am worried that not chanting japa mala won’t be as effective. Guess we shall see.
I keep on expecting something crazy to happen. So far, ok, it’s only been a couple of days, nothing bad has happened. The only change I have noticed is that I have gotten started on two projects that have been on my mind for a very long time.
I’ve wanted to create a website. Today, I sat down and began working on one. I am not a tech savy person (clearly, based on this blog)! I have also wanted to create a home altar for a very long time. I have statues, crystals, etc all over my house, but none felt to me like a sacred space. I spoke with my family about my desire on Sunday and my husband suggested an area. Today I felt compelled to begin to clear the space and move things around. It’s still a bit of a mess, as is my blog, but I feel really proud of what I’ve accomplished so far.
Is this Kali’s doing? I can’t wait to see what happens next!