I’ve been giving the phrase “everything happens for a reason” a lot of thought recently. I blogged a few months ago about my desire to go to India this year. Since that post, I did more research, found a tour and signed up. I made an appointment with the Department of Infectious Diseases. I purchased my airfare. I had sent in all the materials to get my Visa (what a pain in the ass that was). I’ve been sharing the news with my friends and everyone who asks how I was going to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday. I was so excited, nervous and happy.
Then, on Mother’s Day, I received an email that broke my heart. The tour was canceled. Apparently two people had dropped out and she canceled the tour. I was in shock. I nearly burst into tears. I had just Fed Exed the stuff for my Visa that Friday, 2 days before receiving the email.
I turned to Facebook for support. So many well meaning friends posted things like “something better is coming your way!” and the dreaded “everything happens for a reason.” However, I wasn’t ready to hear those sappy sayings. Seriously, how can anyone say something better is coming? Who is the judge? How can I compare one tour verses the other?
As you may be able to tell, I was a bit bitter. One friend posted that perhaps the Universe was trying to teach me about patience. I wrote that I have been trying to get published in a woman’s health magazine for 4 years. I know about patience 🙂
I spoke with a yoga teacher about what was going on. She told me she didn’t believe everything happened for a reason. What a second? You’re a yoga teacher and you don’t believe that? Her statement stopped me in my tracks. Did I even believe it?
I don’t think my mother’s death at a young age happened for a reason. It’s been 11 1/2 years and I still can’t find a good reason why she died. There are a handful of other events, illnesses, etc that I cannot fathom why they happened.
Look, I know that having this trip canceled is not the worst thing that could have happened to me. I have been through far worse events in my life. However, I was so looking forward to this trip. After a few days, I started to accept this trip wasn’t going to happen. I have started to “move on” and to “let go.” I started to do research on other tours, sending out emails, asking for suggestions.
Do I believe everything happens for a reason? Maybe karma is the or a reason. We will probably never know the “real” reasons why things happen.