I seem to fall in and out of love with meditation. I get on these kicks when I’m all about chanting and then life gets in the way, I fall out of the habit, and I’m back at square one.
A few weeks ago I decided to embark on what I considered “real” meditation. My intention was to sit silently. I wasn’t going to chant a mantra or focus on my breath. I was just going to sit still and wait for God to start talking to me.
I will admit it was pretty cool. I was able to get to that quiet space. It felt delicious. And I don’t know what happened. I probably didn’t feel like meditating one morning. I probably told myself “I’ll do it later.” But later never works out for me.
For the past two days, I’ve recommitted to meditation. I know I need it. However, when I sit down, I am not able to turn off my thoughts. I think “Oh, I have to get the laundry done and follow up with that editor and this editor and did she write back to me and I have to schedule that meeting to talk about that project….” You know what I’m talking about.
What happened to all the silence? Where did it go?
I better meditate on it.