I cried today. I haven’t cried in a long, long time. I don’t remember the last time I cried.
Nothing major happened. Except I’m still in pain. My neck hurts so badly. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want to feel well. I want to feel normal. I want to feel happy. I want to be able to exercise and move my body. Is it too much to ask for?
It made me wonder about my choice of the word of the year: contentment. I haven’t felt much, well, contentment, with my Word. I haven’t felt excited or attached to the word.
This morning, when I was thinking about my neck and my recent health issues, the word that kept on showing up was another word that I had considered: Slow.
I probably should have taken it slow last week instead of taking 3 yoga classes and one weight training class. I know I pushed myself. I should have allowed my body to slowly recover and get back to exercise. I refuse to beat myself up though. After two weeks of not exercising, last week I started feeling better and wanted to move. Is that so wrong??
Well, clearly, given my recent injury, yeah, it was wrong, wrong, wrong. The crazy thing is that I asked my chiropractor today (yes, I saw him on Saturday and Sunday) if I could take a yoga class on Monday. I can barely move my neck but I still pray and hope that I’m going to feel better tomorrow.
Slow. I need to take it slow. Why is this so challenging for me!?!??